Jul 26, 2023
Have
you ever wondered why we do the things we do? Of
course our thoughts and emotions shape our behaviors and
results in life, but what truly influences our conscious and
unconscious thoughts on a day to day basis?
I’ve put a lot of thought into this and we have
discussed many different influencing factors that contribute to our
lives, and we have even talked about ways to influence and change
our behaviors and results. But today I’d like to talk to you
about identifying what is truly affecting your life on a deeper
level.
6 Core Human Needs by Tony Robbins
Abraham Maslow was an American psychologist who
studied and documented human needs and behavior. He developed
a well know theory of basic human behavior called
Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs. The most basic of needs (which
influence our behavior) are food, shelter, safety, etc.
Then there are higher levels of needs like love,
self-esteem, and personal growth in order to truly
achieve “self actualization” and happiness in life.
These are the main influencing factors in our behavior; as a
result, they are the influencing factors in the results we achieve
in life.
Tony Robbins further developed this concept into what
he calls the 6 core human needs. He has become well know for
this training because it has literally impacted thousands
of people (throughout the world) during his career. He
believes that all humans have the same 6 core needs and that if
they are fulfilling these 6 needs they will experience the most
happiness. If not, they will feel dissatisfied with their
life and also feel unfulfilled at times. He added
that most of us will prioritize a couple of these needs
and (as a result) those needs will drive most of our conscious and
unconscious thoughts and actions.
So you can see that if these needs are
driving our behaviors and actions, then they will ultimately
determine our results, our happiness, and even our levels of
fulfillment.
Many people choose to meet their 6 core needs in
a positive way, but it is also possible (and common)
that people can meet these needs in a negative (destructive)
way that leads them to problems and struggles in their lives.
Meeting our needs in a negative way never brings long term
happiness and ultimately can cause serious pain, frustration, and
even depression.
Are you aware of the Core Needs you prioritize in your
life?
Are they being met in a positive or a negative
way?
I’d like to outline the 6 core needs so that you might
become more aware of which ones you are prioritizing and which ones
you need to continue to focus on fulfilling at a higher level.
Also, I feel it's important to truly understand if
you are currently filling your needs in a positive or negative
way. This will help you to understand what drives your
thoughts, behaviors and actions that are creating your
life.
So, let’s start to go through these needs and
feel free to take some notes and really dig into what you feel are
your Main Influencing Factors in your Success or Lack of Success in
your life right now.
No it’s interesting to note that the first
four needs are ones that fulfill the needs of our Personality,
and the last two needs are ones that fulfill the needs of our
spirit. True fulfillment comes from the last two needs, so
really pay attention to those as we go through them.
Here are the 6 core needs:
Needs of the Personality
1-Certainty- the need for safety,
stability, security, comfort, order, predictability, control,
and consistency…Avoid Pain…
Obviously, we do our best to avoid pain in our lives
by creating certainty. However, a problem can arise for many
of us when we create unrealistic expectations of what it
take for certainty. This can cause stress because
we never seem to meet our needs for certainty.
This is when you need to start discovering what
limiting beliefs and programming that you carry inside that is
affecting your expectations and needs.
On the other hand, if we have too much Certainty we
get bored, so this is why we need the second need.
2-Variety (uncertainty)- the need for variety,
surprise, challenges, excitement, difference,
chaos, adventure, change, and novelty.
My partner and mentor Robert Stuberg would say that
your true success as an Entrepreneur (and happiness in life)
in in direct proportion to the amount of Uncertainty that
you can handle in your life. I believe this is because we
already know that success, growth and “uncertainty” lies
outside your comfort zone.
It is also interesting to note that these first
two core needs work as a paradox and continually try to balance
each other. Certainty vs Uncertainty. Which leads us to
the 3rd Core Human Need.
3-Significance- the need to have meaning, special,
pride, needed, wanted, sense of importance and worthy of
love…we want to feel special.
I read a very impactful quote from Adam Sincinski that
I think explains the need for significance really
well…
"You can feel more significant by achieving
something, by building something, by learning something or even by
tearing other people down. They are all legitimate ways to
fulfill the need for significance. The need for significance
can help you achieve more, do more, and become the person you
desire to be. All professional athletes would probably admit
that the need for significance is a big part of their careers. In
fact, it’s probably one of the most important influential factors
that go into every decision they make. On the other hand, the
need for significance can be used for evil purposes. For
instance, it can be used to hurt people or gain an unfair
advantage. Take for example a bully. A bully bullies other
people to feel important, significant, and worthy. Therefore the
need for significance can actually lead to violence."
- An In-Depth Exploration Of The Six Human Needs Shaping
Your Life, Adam Sicinski
Tony Robbins talks about how VIOLENCE can also fulfill
the need people have for significance in a destructive way.
Understanding the need for significance is very important so
that we can better understand how to deal with this need in a
positive and productive way in society and in our personal
lives.
4-Love & Connection- the need for communication,
approval and attachment, connection with, loved and intimate with
another person.
Ultimately we are all searching for connection.
Love is one of the most powerful emotions and can bring with
it both “true happiness” as well as our “deepest fear”
due to rejection, loneliness and regret. The key is to
understand that love can be influenced by our beliefs in a big
way. Low self-worth, past relationship failures and good or
bad business experiences can all affect our ways of fulfilling
this need for love and connection.
A great example of this is why many of us settle
for “Connection” rather than “Deep Commitment and
Relationships” with others. We dont want to get hurt in
a relationship but we still need to fill our need for
Love and Connection. The problem with his is that we never
truly fill this need long term by only satisfying it at a
surface level. The same can be said in business if we are
untrusting or unwilling to risk moving forward with our goals due
to past failures.
Needs of the Spirit
5-Growth- the need for constant emotional,
intellectual and spiritual development.
You’ve heard the saying, “if you are not growing,
you are dying”. This comes from the fact that we all have a
need to Grow. The best way to do this is through personal
development. Without personal growth, you can
feel “stuck in life”.
The negative side of Growth is that many of us apply
filters of perfectionism so we don’t recognize that we
are growing because we are either 1)comparing ourselves
to everyone else or 2) we set the bar so high we will never meet
this need. The KEY is to always play the game of
life against the past version of yourself and not others. And, to
always remember that you need to look forward and not back when you
are growing.
6-Contribution- the need to give beyond ourselves,
give, care, protect and serve others.
Another great saying is, “The Secret to Living is
Giving”. The meet will ultimately only get filled when
you feel you are impacting and contributing to those around you:
in community, in your family, in your relationships, in your
business.
I really like what my partner Robert Stuberg
says when he talks about his life mission and use of Unique
Talents. The key to life is identifying your Unique Talent
(excellent and passion about) and applying it in the service
to others. This is an Amazing way to Create
Success while living a Happy and Fulfilled live, but it
also satisfies this need at an extremely high
level.
So...How are you meeting your 6 Core Human
Needs?
We strive daily to meet these needs, but remember that
our needs can ultimately be met in both constructive
and destructive ways…positive and negative ways that will
influence and affect our lives.
I believe that most all stress, anxiety, depression,
and dysfunctional behavior comes from not filling these needs or
filing these needs in a negative way. The key is to
understand yourself and your limiting beliefs that are affecting
these core needs. Find out how your inner beliefs are
creating the filter you use to fill these needs on a daily basis.
In other words, how are your daily routines being
influenced in a positive or negative way because of the programming
you’ve adopted throughout your life.
So, I Encourage You to Ask Yourself these Key
Questions:
-What are my Top Core Needs?
-How am I filling those needs now? (positive or
negative)
-What are the beliefs that are driving my
needs?
-Are these beliefs serving me and my life’s
mission?
-How are these needs impacting my relationships,
business and communication?
-How can I redefine the parameters needed to meet
these needs.
Let me give you an example of how Tony Robbins
talks about using these 6 core human needs to redefine or increase
the quality of your relationships…
Tony Robins says
“If you’re in a relationship with somebody and you
meet one of their needs, you’re going to have an
acquaintance.
If you meet two of their needs, you’re going to have a
friend.
If you meet three of their needs, you’re going to have
a deep friendship or love.
If you meet four of their needs, it’s going to be a
deep love.
If you meet five or six of their needs, you’re going
to have a love slave. … They ain’t going anywhere.
But it’s got to be you meeting their needs, not the
other way around.” - Tony Robbins On How To Master Relationships, J.D.
Meier
You get the point. Ultimately, you can
seriously impact the quality of “your life” and "others lives"
if you will be INTENTIONAL with how you meet the 6 Core Human Needs
of Yourself and Others.
I know that if you will take the time to “unpack”
what is driving your life, then you will be far more effective in
creating change, and you will completely transform your life and
business. But its gonna take a little work. You must be
willing to sit down and go through the motions to understand,
identify, redefine and execute on your Core Needs in your life.
If you do this…I promise you will see massive changes in your
life.
I appreciate you listening today. I hope
you’ve found some value in this information. If you have, I
encourage you to share this podcast episode with at least one
person in your life. Have an amazing day.
George Wright III